The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the UK Government's Youth Employment scheme and employ people from Liverpool.
The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from the Liverpool area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of euros worth of high tech equipment.
Tony Blair went on record as saying this was a bold move by the Ferrari management, which demonstrated the international recognition of the UK under New Labour. As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari now have an advantage over every team.
However, Ferrari may have got more than they bargained for....At the crew's first practice session yesterday, the Liverpool pit crew successfully changed the tyres in under 6 seconds, and then within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team for 8 bottles of Stella, a kilo of speed and some photos of Coulthard's bird in the shower.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Thanks for those emails!
Hi, my first post for a week or two is an email recently received from a friend of mine, Debbie:-
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.
* Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
* Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.
* I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
* I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
* I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
* I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
* I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
* Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
* I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
* I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special on-line email program.
Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour!
If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (BST) tomorrow afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
DO IT NOW OR ELSE.
And have a nice day!
Debs
So, if YOU have any interesting emails - please forward them to me and all your friends!!!!
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.
* Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
* Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.
* I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
* I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
* I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
* I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
* I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
* Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
* I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
* I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special on-line email program.
Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour!
If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (BST) tomorrow afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
DO IT NOW OR ELSE.
And have a nice day!
Debs
So, if YOU have any interesting emails - please forward them to me and all your friends!!!!
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