Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Goodnight Kiss

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home.  As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little amorous.  

With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, 

"Honey, would you have sex with me?”

Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad?  My parents will see us!”

"Oh come on!  Who's gonna see us at this hour?" he asks, grinning at her 

“No, please.  Can you imagine if we get caught?” 

"Oh come on!  There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!” 

“No way. It’s just too risky!” 

“Oh please, please I love you so much!” 

“No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can’t!” 

“Oh yes you can. Please?” 

“No, no. I just can’t!” 

“I’m begging you . . . “ 

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl’s older sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice, she says:

“Dad says to go ahead and have sex with him, or I can do it, or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it . . . but for God’s sake, tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"

Thursday, January 05, 2017

Medical distinction between Guts and Balls:

There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask:

'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say:

'You're next, Chubby.'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically, speaking there is No difference in the outcome.

But . . . . . . . 

. . . both result in a slow, lingering, painful death.