Tuesday, July 27, 2021


#1 - Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.

#2 - "In Style" are the clothes that still fit. 

#3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.

#4 - Your people skills are just fine It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

#5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."

#6 - "On time" is when you get there.

#7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.

#8 - It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.

#9 - Lately, You've noticed people your age are so much older than you.

#10 - Growing old should have taken longer.

#11 - Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.

#12 - You still haven't learned to act your age, and hope you never will.
And one more:
         "One for the road" means using the bathroom before you leave the house.

Sunday, July 25, 2021

Who pays the Checker?

Here is a relevant question which the US Congress will have to debate:

Who pays the Checker?

There are important questions to be answered about recent LGBT bathroom legislation and whether transgender people will be permitted to use a restroom of the gender that they "identify" with or be required to use the restroom of their biological gender.

If the latter, would public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection Station at the entrance to all public restrooms?

Who will have to pay these Pecker Checkers, the people using the restroom, or the entity that owns the restroom?

And how much money will a Pecker Checker be paid to check peckers?

Or, do we pay a Pecker Checker by the number of peckers checked?

How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker could check peckers?

What has this country come to when the U.S. Department of Labor has to create a new job description of Politically Correct Restroom Service Inspectors?

Want to guess their motto? "If You gotta pee - We gotta see!

Tour of a whisky distillery.

 It’s probably heretical, but must be seen in the public interest.

Thursday, July 15, 2021

An Irish Fisherman

 The rain was pouring down outside O'Connor's Irish Pub. There standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water.  A passer-by stopped and asked him:  "What are you doing?”

“Fishing” replied the old man.

Feeling sorry for the old man, the gent says:

 “Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me.”

In the warm ambiance of the pub, as they sip their whiskies, the gentleman, being a bit of a superior smart ass, cannot resist asking:
"So how many have you caught today?"

“You're the 8th", replied the old man.

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

Obituary to Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Tuesday, June 22, 2021


The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. 

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


Thursday, January 28, 2021

Write What You Know

My latest attempt at writing a short story.

John burst into my office on Monday morning “I’ve thought of a great new hobby” he said walking up to my desk, wearing a huge grin. “Not only is it going to keep me busy, it will earn me loads of money!”

“Oh yes,” I sighed “and what are you going to do now?”

“I’m taking up writing. I shall start by writing a few short stories then move on to my blockbuster novel”

“That’s great, but what makes you think that you will stick with this? You were going to make a load of money taking up philately and trade in buying and selling stamps. Before you actually bought or sold any stamps you started dabbling with Bitcoin and other crypto currencies. Last year you spent about a thousand pounds on buying a top of the range camera and kit, convinced that you could turn photography into a profitable hobby. I could carry on but you know as well as I do that you have lots of ideas but never stick to them.”

John’s smile faded and he dumped himself on to the chair on the other side of my desk.

I had known John since school where he had shown lots of potential but didn’t revise properly for his exams and scraped through with grades too low to get him into college. He drifted from job to job but never found anything he could stick at. He was now working for me in the mail department. He was doing reasonably well but I knew he was capable of achieving much more if he would only learn to concentrate and stick to a plan.

He was a very likeable person who was a good friend, always willing to help anyone out and was good company socially. But what could I do to help him stick to this hobby and help him develop into a competent writer?

“I will tell you what John, give me a couple of days to think about it and I am sure that we will be able to come up with a plan to help you make a success of this. Let’s go to the pub after work on Friday and we can work things out together.”

Friday arrived and we walked over to the pub just a short walk from the office. As usual for a Friday after work the bar was crowded so I sent John to find a quiet table well away from the hustle and bustle while I pushed to the front and ordered a couple of pints. Glasses in hand I struggled through the crowd and found John sitting at a table for two in the far corner. I had spent the previous few days researching the internet to get some ideas to help John. I handed him his pint and took the seat opposite him.

“Cheers” I said, raising my glass, “now lets get you sorted out. First, can you tell me what you have written since Monday?”

“Err I haven't written anything yet, I was waiting for tonight to see what you had come up with.”

I sighed in desperation. “One of the first things I came across was a story about the American author, Sinclair Lewis who had been asked to address a group of students and give a talk on creative writing. He asked how many of them wanted to be writers and they all eagerly raised their hand. Lewis looked at them and said then why aren’t you at home writing, and then walked off the stage. Do you get that message? If you wish to become a writer you must sit down and write whenever you get the opportunity. Understand?”

John nodded, took a swig of beer and then started talking about football, a favourite topic for both of us. After about 20 minutes he stood up saying that it was his round and went up to the bar. While he was away I determined to get the topic back onto his writing – the reason we had agreed to meet that evening. I took out my note book containing the results of my research.

When he returned I said “Right John, lets get a plan written down that is going to help you. First, what time of day will you make yourself sit down and write, how long will you write for in each session or will you set a target of how many words you will write before stopping” I continued with several other ideas which John took note of and promised to come up with a plan over the weekend. We agreed to come into the office half an our early on Monday morning to discuss them.

Monday morning arrived and John had drawn up a plan to help get himself started. He was going to get up early each morning and write for half an hour before having breakfast and he would then write for an hour each evening before going to bed. At the end of each week we would go to the pub again and review his progress.

So the following Friday we found ourselves back in the bar, at the same table as the previous week.

I again bought the beers before asking John how he had got on and how much he had written. To my disappointment, but not really surprise, he admitted that he hadn't written anything!

“For God’s sake, what is wrong with you!” I shouted.

“Well I tried but just couldn’t think of what to write about” he said sheepishly.

“OK, lets get this sorted. Write what you know about. What’s on your mind at the moment that you would like to get off your chest?”

John sat and thought for a little while before replying.

“I guess I have been just wasting my time playing computer games to take my mind off the fact that I couldn’t get started writing.”

I told him to go home, get his laptop out and write a short story about not being able to concentrate on writing and not knowing what to write about and that I expected him to come into the office on Monday morning and show me what he had written.

So John did finish his first short story, thanks to his friend’s advice to write about something he knew. And dear readers, John is basically me, and I have been trying to write for many years but have only now really put my mind to it, and hopefully this will be the first of many!!

Monday, January 11, 2021

Choosing a Reward Website

Watch our choosing a reward site slide show, or read below.

What is a Reward Site?

A reward website is a website that offers rewards for performing tasks, usually related to selected retailers and organisations. These tasks may include, buying goods or services through referral links, submitting content, participating in a survey or referral of members.

There are many such sites available online and I shall be reviewing a few more of them in the coming weeks. There is a wide range amongst such sites as to the earnings opportunities available and I would put TimeBucks in the top quarter. Some such sites are undoubtedly Scams, but TimeBucks have a good rating at TrustPilot  with an Excellent Rating of 82%, as may be seen here:-


Who are TimeBucks?

TimeBucks is a reward site where you can earn real cash for performing various tasks and activities that you already do everyday. 

You can earn cash from doing things such as:-

  • taking surveys, 
  • watching videos, 
  • voting, 
  • installing free apps, 
  • playing games, 
  • taking selfies, 
  • performing web searches 
  • and much more! 

Advantages of TimeBucks are that 
  1. they pay in real cash, not gift cards. 
  2. they pay weekly via PayPal with a low minimum pay-out of just $10. 
  3. you get your own dedicated account manager to help you earn as much cash as possible!

TimeBucks is free to join, and also has a referral program where you can earn commission for referring your friends! So whether you're a single mom, a student, or you're just looking for some extra cash to pay the bills, then TimeBucks is the place for you

To sign up for TimeBucks click here

Sunday, January 10, 2021

TimeBucks Reward Site

TimeBucks is a reward site where you can earn real cash for performing various tasks and activities that you already do everyday. You can earn cash from doing things such as taking surveys, watching videos, voting, installing free apps, playing games, taking selfies, growing a beard, performing web searches and much more! 

TimeBucks is unique from other reward sites because they pay in real cash, not gift cards. They pay weekly via PayPal with a low minimum pay-out of just $10. With TimeBucks, you get your own dedicated account manager to help you earn as much cash as possible!

TimeBucks is free to join, and also has a referral program where you can earn commission for referring your friends! So whether you're a single mom, a student, or you're just looking for some extra cash to pay the bills, then TimeBucks is the place for you

To sign up for TimeBucks click here