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Thursday, September 02, 2010

One word or two?

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.
 Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
 
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
 
'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.
 'I would like it infrequently' she replied.
 
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered -
 'Is that one word or two?'

IRISHMAN IN THE ELEVATOR

What a situation !!!!


A skinny little white Irishman goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him, he looks down and says: '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown.'

The little white Irishman faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, 'What's wrong with you?'

In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'

The big dude says, 'I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me, I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each and my name is Turner Brown.'

The little white Irishman says:
'Turner Brown?! Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, 'Turn around'!