Friday, October 23, 2020

 Don't make old people mad!

 An old physician, Doctor Gordon Geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to re-open a medical clinic.

 He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's Clinic. Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000."

Doctor Digger Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

Dr Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?"

Dr Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from the box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."

Dr Young: 'Aaagh! -- This is Gasoline!"

Dr Geezer: "Congratulations!
You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Dr Young: "Oh, no you don't -- that is Gasoline!"

Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

Dr Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!"

Dr Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, "Here's your $1000 back" (giving him a $10 bill).

Dr Young: "But this is only $10!"

Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."

*Moral of story* -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer” . 

*Remember:* Don't make old people mad.  We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.


P.S. Written in large print for old Geezers

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Stroke has a new indicator!

STROKE: Remember the 1st Three Letters..... 

S. T. R.    


During a BBQ, a woman stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) ...she said  she had just tripped over a brick  because of her new shoes. 

They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Jane went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. 

Jane's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 PM Jane passed away) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Jane would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. 

It only takes a minute to read this. 

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough. 


Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR. Read and learn! 

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. 

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:   

S *    Ask the individual to SMILE.    

T *    Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A    SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)

(e.g. Chicken Soup)   

  Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS. 

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number    immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. 

New Sign of a Stroke   -------- 

Stick out Your Tongue! 

NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue. If the tongue is  'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke. 

A cardiologist says if everyone who reads this forwards it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.

I have done my part. Will you?

Tuesday, October 20, 2020


 Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.

 "Like sitting around drinking wine isn't a good thing?" I asked.

Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation. She says she is "only thinking of me," and suggested, I go down to the Senior Centre and hang around with some of the lads there.

So, I did and when I got home, I decided to play a prank on her. I sent her an e-mail saying that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club.

She replied, “Are you nuts? You're 73 years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her. Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled,

"Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses? This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"Oh man, am I in trouble," I said, "I signed up for five jumps a week!"

The line went dead.

Life as a Senior isn't getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun.....