Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Don't mess with your elders.

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong. Sometimes it is embarrassing.

There's nothing worse than a receptionist who insists you tell her what
is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the
desk.... The receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied. The receptionist
became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied, "You've caused some embarrassment in this room
full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full
strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.

The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her

"And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're going to lose!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Easy rider

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to Heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said 'I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

God recognized
Arthur and said, 'Oh, so you're the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle.'

Arthur said, 'Yep, that's me.'

God said, 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'

Arthur was somewhat embarrassed, but managed to reply, 'Excuse me, Lord but aren't You the inventor of Woman?'

God said, 'Yes.'

'Well,' said
Arthur, 'professional to professional, You have some major design flaws in Your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds

3. The directional controls leave a lot to be desired

4. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much

5. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust

6. And the maintenance costs are enormous.'

'Hmmmmm, you have some good points there,' replied God, 'It may be true that My invention is flawed, but according to My calculations, more men are riding My invention than yours.'