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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Job Interview 'Killer Question'

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a
bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could
only be one passenger in your car. Think before you continue reading.

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This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.


The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants)had no trouble coming up with an answer.

WHAT DID HE SAY?




He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."


However, the correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out
of her misery, shag the perfect partner against the bus stop and drive
off with the old friend for some beer.

Monday, January 14, 2008

The Guide for all Men


WOMEN'S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

We need... = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want... = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk... = I need to complain.

Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Am I fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

Nothing = Everything

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an idiot!

WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!

HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend..

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.

SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE : Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.

HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore..

HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.