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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?

This is hysterical. You have to try this. It is absolutely true. I guess there are some things that the brain cannot handle.

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?

You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this!!!
It is from an orthopaedic surgeon................This will boggle your mind
and it will keep you trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart
your foot, but, you can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain!

1). Without anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY....) and while sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2). Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction.

I told you so!!!

And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

IT problems

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.

The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion: "If we close all the windows, get out, get back in, then open the windows again, maybe it'll work!?"

Friday, November 13, 2009

THE IRAQI FOOTBALLER

The Liverpool FC manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football, is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Chelsea with only 20 minutes left, the manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.

The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool . The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.'

'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time.'

The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry.'

'Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' says his mum,






'It's your bloody fault we came to Liverpool in the first place!'

Monday, November 09, 2009

Don't talk to my parrot ...

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque. Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you."

"But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"

"I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.

Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,
"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied,

"Get him Spike!"

See - Men just don't listen!