Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Stratford Upon Avon
We spent a pleasant weekend during November in Stratford Upon Avon and here are a few photos of the town and the river that I thought worth sharing.
Friday, December 03, 2010
Two Of The Year's Best Comebacks
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defence attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility .....
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir,... I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now,... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
Now We Know Why He Was a General
In an recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harboured and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function... OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
You got to love them both!
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir,... I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now,... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
Now We Know Why He Was a General
In an recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harboured and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function... OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
You got to love them both!
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