This morning on the M25, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Ford Focus doing 60 mph with her face up to the mirror putting on her mascara. I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily, but she really scared me. I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the Mars Bar out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Oscar and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call. Damn women drivers!
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