Accountants

What's the definition of an accountant?

- Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

What's the definition of a good tax accountant?

- Someone who has a loophole named after him.

What's an auditor?

- Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Why did the auditor cross the road?

- Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?

- Depreciation.

An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.



An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.

"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem -- I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."