Letters to Viz

Some letters sent to Viz magazine refring to recent UK news items.

"See you next week..." sang the Double Deckers at the end of episode 17 of the popular children's TV show, aired on 30th April 1971. Thirty-six years later we are still waiting. First the Blue Peter debacle, now this. Are there no lengths to which the BBC will not go to mislead its younger viewers?
Albert Picture, Aberdeen

I am in the process of buying a car and have narrowed my choice down to two. But I don't know whether to buy the one that floats away on balloons or the one that's made of cake. I think I prefer the one made of cake, but I'd like the security of knowing that the ad had won an award before making such a big commitment.
Brian Fester

I can't help thinking that if baggage handlers at Glasgow Airport spent less time punching burning terrorists and more time putting suitcases onto the f&cking carousel, I might not have waited an hour and a half for my bag after I got got off the plane from Toronto last week.
Chuck Jism, Newcastle

I've just seen the flooded state of Gloucester on the telly. I've been boycotting the place for years for just this reason. All the smart-arses who mocked me and made up stupid rhymes about me are laughing on the other side of their faces now. Sail on, tossers.
Dr Foster, Cheltenham

I read with interest that the RAF have decided to replace the nude paintings of popular tit models like Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh on the side of their bombers with plain silhouettes for fear of offending the thousands of Muslims they are currently bombing the shit out of. I wholeheartedly applaud this display of sensitivity to another culture.
Peter Roeth