Twas the night before christmas...

Resimay

Deer Sir,

I want to apply for the secritary job I sore in the paper.

I can type real quik with one fingar and do sum a counting. I think I am good on the phone and no I am a peepole person, Peepole really seem to respond to me well.

Im looking for a Job as a secritary but it musent be to complicaitedI no my spelling is not to good but find that I offen can get a job thru my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we can tork about wot you want to pay me and wot you think that I am werth, I can start imediately.

Thank you in advanse for your awnser. hopfuly your best aplicant so far.

Sinseerly,

Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a photo of me.

Employer's response:

Dear Peggy May,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check.

A Tragic Accident

I almost cried when I saw this picture.

It is absolutely gut wrenching.

It shows the importance of being properly strapped in.

A friend sent this photo of a horrible highway accident in Germany .

The picture may be kind of hard to take for some of you.

If you look closely you can see some survivors of the accident still in the wreckage.

Although the picture is quite graphic, it makes you realize how quickly our loved ones can be taken from us.

My friend stayed on the scene to help and, even though he performed mouth to mouth on quite a few of them, none of those survived. picture below
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Maxine and the Four worms...............

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation - What did you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'

That pretty much ended the service.

New Seat Belt Law Effective 1st Jan 2009

A New Seat Belt Law Becomes effective January 1st 2009

The national Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt.

Results show that accidents can be reduce by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed.

Correct installation is illustrated below...

This is very Important, please pass on to friends and family.


THIS MIGHT SAVE A LIFE!
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