"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices
which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the
Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner
"Sex at age 90 is like
trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille Paglia
"Sex is one
of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men
can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone
"Hockey is a
sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for
white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods
"My mother
never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack
Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where
he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from
the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just
need a place"
Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women
say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental,
where, of course, men are just grateful"
Robert De
Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many
men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman
"There's
very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm
doing. Just show me somebody naked !"
Jerry Seinfeld
"See,
the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to
run one at a time."
Robin Williams
"It's been so long since
I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom"
Joan
Rivers
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural
experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin
"You don't appreciate
a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked
every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later
life."
Elmo Phillips
"Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde
"It isn't premarital sex if
you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns
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