This man owned and drove the same car for 82 years.

Can you imagine even having the same car for 82 years?

Mr. Allen Swift ( Springfield , Massachusetts ) received this 1928 Rolls-Royce Piccadilly-P1 Roadster from his father, brand new - as a graduation gift in 1928.

He drove it up until his death in 2010....At the age of 102.

He was the oldest living owner of a car that was purchased new.

Just thought you'd like to see it!                                                                                             

Rolls Royce Phantom 1 - 1928

It was donated to a Springfield museum after his death.

It has 1,070,000 miles on it, still runs like a Swiss watch, dead silent at any speed and is in perfect cosmetic condition.

82 years - That's approximately 13,048 miles per year (1087 per month).

1,070,000 that's miles not kilometres.

That's British engineering of a bygone era.
I don't think they even make them like this anymore..

What it's like to be British!!

• Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”

• Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right”

• Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best

• Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door

• Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit

• Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand

• Having someone sit next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home

• The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector

• The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too”

• “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it

• Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands

• Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck

• Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change

• Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again

• Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested

• Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right”

• Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon

• Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it

• Deeming it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini wave

• Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible

• The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about

• Turning down a cup of tea for no reason and instantly knowing you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake

• Suddenly remembering your tea and necking it like a massive, lukewarm shot

• Realising you’ve got about fifty grand’s worth of plastic bags under your kitchen sink

• “You’ll have to excuse the mess” – Translation: I’ve spent seven hours tidying in preparation for your visit

• Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to force everyone else to take it

• “I’m off to bed” – Translation: “I’m off to stare at my phone in another part of the house”

• Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever

• Leaving it too late to correct someone, meaning you must live with your new name forever

• Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed ‘cheers’, ‘ta’ and ‘nice one’

• Changing from ‘kind regards’ to just ‘regards’, to indicate that you’re rapidly reaching the end of your tether

• Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing

• Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again

• The relief when someone doesn’t answer their phone within three rings and you can hang up

• Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again

BRITISH HUMOUR

In hindsight I should have posted my Face book status as: "I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just buggered a 14 year old escort".

The police still haven't seen the funny side, my lap top's been confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mother (not all bad then?)

 

Son: “Dad, we’re learning about prisms at school. They’re fascinating.”

Dad: “That’s good son, because as a dyslexic black boy, you’re bound to end up in one.”

 

Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor ‘phones and says “Paddy, you realise you’ve got sugar diabetes.”

Paddy says, “Nice one, when do I fight him?”

 

It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about

 

A Muslim bloke I work with was bragging he had the entire Koran on DVD. Being interested, I asked him to burn me a copy. Well, that’s when it all kicked off!

 

Paddy caught his Wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself. He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says "Don't laugh, your next!!"

 

An Irishmen wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said "You must answer 3 questions on the Bible".

"1st - Who was born in a stable?"

"Red Rum" he replied

"2nd - What do you think of Damascus?"

"It kills 99% of all germs" he replied.

"3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive ?"

"That’s easy" he said "Popeye kicked the shit out of them!!"

 

Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years."

His Dad replies "Never mind Son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!"

 

A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"

The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".

 

A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."

Vet: "Is it a tom?"

Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.

Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"

Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"

Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"

Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"

Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"

What it's like to be British!!

If you are British, how many of the following points can you relate to? If you are not British, this may give you an insight into the British character!

• Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare” 
• Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right” 
• Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best 
• Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door 
• Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit 
• Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand 
• Having someone sit next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home
• The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector 
• The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too” 
• “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it 
• Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands 
• Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck 
• Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change 
• Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again 
• Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested 
• Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right” 
• Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon 
• Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it 
• Deeming it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini wave 
• Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible 
• The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about 
• Turning down a cup of tea for no reason and instantly knowing you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake 
• Suddenly remembering your tea and necking it like a massive, lukewarm shot 
• Realising you’ve got about fifty grand’s worth of plastic bags under your kitchen sink 
• “You’ll have to excuse the mess” – Translation: I’ve spent seven hours tidying in preparation for your visit 
• Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to force everyone else to take it 
• “I’m off to bed” – Translation: “I’m off to stare at my phone in another part of the house” 
• Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever 
• Leaving it too late to correct someone, meaning you must live with your new name forever 
• Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed ‘cheers’, ‘ta’ and ‘nice one’ 
• Changing from ‘kind regards’ to just ‘regards’, to indicate that you’re rapidly reaching the end of your tether 
• Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing 
• Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again 
• The relief when someone doesn’t answer their phone within three rings and you can hang up 
• Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again