A guide to help you speak about the opposite sex in a POLITICALLY CORRECT way...
How to speak about women and be politically correct.
She is not a BABE or a CHICK; she is a BREASTED AMERICAN
She is not a SCREAMER or a MOANER; she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE
She is not EASY; she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE
She is not DUMB; she is a DETAOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY
She has not BEEN AROUND; she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION
She is not an AIR HEAD; she is REALITY IMPARED
She does not GET DRUNK; she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED
She is not HORNY; she is SEXUALLY FOCUSED
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS; she is MEDICALY ENHANCED
She does not NAG; she becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE
She is not a SLUT; she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED
She is not a TWO BIT WHORE; she is a LOW COST PROVIDER
How to speak about men and be politically correct.
He does not have a BEER GUT; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY
He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS
He is not BALDING; he is in FOLICAL REGRESSION
He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER, he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
He does not get FALLING DOWN DRUNK; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG; he has SWINE EMPATHY
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
He is not QUIET; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST
He is not STUPID; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT
He is not SHORT; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT
He does not CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT CARS; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION
He is not UNSOPHISTICATED; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED
He does not EAT LIKE A PIG; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA
He does not HOG THE BLANKETS; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE
He doesn't have a DIRTY MIND; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS
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