Employee Training

In order to ensure the highest levels of quality of work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our programme of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel you do receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programmes (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.).

Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T. you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to the Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are ful of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.)

Thank you

Boss In General
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)