David Beckham

As David Beckham has now left Real Madrid in Spain on his way to Los Angeles, I thought it might be good time to post a few old Beckham jokes for the benefit of out American readers who may not have realised just how many jokes there were about him, especially from his earlier days.

• The Manchester United players are in the dressing room on Saturday, just before the game, when Roy Keane walks in. “Boss,” he says, “there’s a problem. I’m not playing unless I get a cortisone injection.”"Hey,” says Becks. “If he’s having a new car, so am I.”

• David Beckham goes shopping, and sees something interesting in the kitchen department of a large department store. “What’s that?” he asks. “A Thermos flask,” replies the assistant. “What does it do?” asks Becks. The assistant tells him it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. Really impressed, Beckham buys one and takes it along to his next training session. “Here, boys, look at this,” Beckham says proudly. “It’s a Thermos flask.” The lads are impressed. “What does it do?” they ask. “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, “says David. “What have you got in it?” asks Roy Keane. “Two cups of coffee and a Choc ice,” replies David.
• David Beckham is celebrating; “43 days, 43 days!” he shouts happilly. Posh asks him why is he celebrating. He answers “Well Honey, I’ve done this jigsaw in only 43 days.” “And that’s good?” asks Posh. “You bet Hon” says David.”It says 3 to 6 years on the box.”
• Q: What would David Beckham’s name be if he was a Spice Girl?
  A: Waste of Spice
• What’s the difference between David Beckham and God? God doesn’t think he’s David Beckham!
• How do you make David Beckham laugh on a Thursday? Tell him a joke on Monday.