A few of my favourite quotes the the wonderful Grouch Marx.
- A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
- A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
- A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
- All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
- Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
- Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
- Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
- I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
- I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
- I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
- I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
- Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
- One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
- She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
- The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
- Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough.
- Women should be obscene and not heard.
Click here to buy Groucho: the Life and Times of Julius Henry Marx
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