Friday, June 22, 2007

The Thoughts of Marx (Groucho that is).

A few of my favourite quotes the the wonderful Grouch Marx.

  • A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
  • A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
  • A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
  • All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
  • Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
  • Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
  • Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
  • I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
  • I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
  • I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
  • I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
  • Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
  • No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
  • One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
  • She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
  • The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
  • Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough.
  • Women should be obscene and not heard.

Click here to buy Groucho: the Life and Times of Julius Henry Marx

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